So Twilight: New Moon has made over $230 million dollars in the US, more money in 10 days than the first movie did in it's entire release. That puts it in 60th place all time in only it's 2nd weekend. With popularity comes exploitation...
Considering that 80% of the audience was female, and 50% under 21, and when it comes right down to it, the movie is really about a girls choice between Necrophilia and Bestiality (ahhhhh, love is a funny thing!) it's of no surprise that the marketing and promotions they have done aren't exactly aimed at my demographic...
How about the shadow of a guy standing in your room?!?!
And a little Friday enjoyment: I started watching this show called The League which I've been enjoying and recommend, especially to anyone involved in Football fantasy pools. Here's a little clip that cracks me up...
(I just realized this is a toned down version of the song... link tot he actual version here...)
Torrent users out there will be upset to know that Mininova has lost their court case and is now only a "Content Distribution Service", ie legal shit only
I won't get into a big review of this film as it would just be me wasting more time after already spending too much watching this crap!
I must admit I had high expectations going into this which can often ruin a movie. Ninja movies are rare these days, so considering the last good one I saw was American Ninja, I think it was safe.
The best part of this film was the opening scene.
- Bad guys hanging out, lots of guns at their disposal.
- A mysterious envelope filled with black sand arrives. According to the 'wise' old man, it predicts their doom:
"We are all dead"
- AWWWWWW YEAHHHHH, here come the ninja's!!!!!
- Swords, Throwing Stars, disappearing in a shadow and reappearing in others
"Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it!"
- Lots of blood and body parts... I LOVE IT!!!!
- The action scenes that could have been fun had comera work that was a cross between The Blair Witch and The Bourne Ultimatum
- The acting was bad. Not bad enough to be good either. Ben Miles played the head of the 'Agency' that was involved (I am not exactly sure in what capacity). For those of you that watched Coupling, you will know him as Patrick, and that is all I could think about when he was on screen
Anyway, I've put in too much effort already.
Speaking of effort, is it so hard to write a decent Ninja movie!??!?!
I recently got this sent to me, and thought I would pass it on
More good news/bad news. The good news is that AMC movie theatres in California have started posting calorie counts for their snacks and drinks right on the menu boards! The bad news? The numbers are kind of frightening. Even a SMALL popcorn WITHOUT added butter has 434 calories. A simple hot dog? 629 calories. A box of candy? Anywhere between 340 and 1,140 calories. ACK! And heaven forbid you should order nachos and a large regular soda -- that combo adds up to nearly 2,000 calories! And you thought Paranormal Activity was scary...
I get asked this often, and while there is info all over the web that can help you, I'll add one more...
For you Mac users, I'm not sure if it is all done the same way. I'll try to read up on it, but as I'm not a user, it's a guess. If you do try it, let me know how it goes.
I'll first explain quickly what torrent sharing is to keep you from getting nervous about being "open to hackers" or "giving everyone access to my computer".
In simple terms:
- A torrent is a file that has been broken up into pieces and made available for download.
Think of a digital book being split up into chapters 1,2,3...10
- Those pieces are shared with other users.
User A makes this torrent available, and User B begins to download it, One chapter at a time
- As users download pieces of the torrent, other users begin to download the pieces from them.
User B has successfully downloaded chapter 1 and is currently downloading chapter 2 from User A. User C begins to download chapter 2 from User B
- Torrent allow users to download files much faster than regular downloads because you can SIMULTANEOUSLY download from multiple users
While User C downloads chapter 2 from User B, they can be simultaneously downloading chapter 1 from User A.
- In order to download a torrent file, a user must have a 'Bittorrent' program. This allows the downloading/ uploading of file to be organized and compiled.
- Files are not downloaded in order 1, 2, 3...to 10 so you cannot start watching/ using the file until the entire files has been downloaded.
- Terms you will come across while using torrent:
Seeds: Users who have downloaded the COMPLETE file and are still sharing
Leachers: Users who have not yet downloaded the complete file and are sharing the pieces they have
- The higher the number of seeds, the faster the download. If there are NO seeds sharing the file (only lleachers), you will not be able to complete the download and thus, not be able to watch/use it.
- The number of simultaneous pieces that can be downloaded depends on the number of people sharing the file, thus the less popular files will often take longer to download.
Book1 is popular and has 10+ Users sharing the torrent.
Book2 is less popular and only has 2 Users sharing it.
Downloading Book1 will be faster because you would be able to simultaneously download all 10 pieces of the torrent from 10 users. Book2 will be slower because you could only download 2 pieces at a time
- Unlike programs like Limewire, Bittorrent programs do not give users access to your computer folders. Only files that are ACTIVE in your bittorrent program (i.e. that you have downloaded and left active after they are completed) are available to other users
Now that you have the basics, here's how you do it:
1) Find a Bittorrent program. I use Azureus version 2.5.04 which can be downloaded here. I am used to it so I haven't updated it in some time and later versions are a little differant. You can also use uTorrent (download here). Many people I know like it better. It's really up to you.
*mac users: I think you would downloadAzeurus here
2) Once you have downloaded and run it (be sure to set it as your default program for torrent files), you can now go find torrents of things that you would like to download. Of course you will only be downloading legal files, not that there are laws governing these files ;). Sites that I have heard are good are: EZTV (which had daily torrents of tv shows), and Mininova (which has everything including Movies and Programs).
3) When you find your torrent you are going to download, I HIGHLY recommend you read the comments for it. The torrent world is a community and people look out for each other, and it is in the comments that you will hear about the quality of the show, if it is actually the file you think you will be downloding etc)
4) I also highly recommend you do not download movies that just came out and are available as CAM versions (handheld camera). Often they are shit quality, but more importantly, if you are ever going to get caught these are the illegal files they (whoever they are) are concerned with
5) Click the option to download the torrent. When the option pop-up comes, click 'Open'. Your torrent program will open and request that you select the location to place the file. Select it and hit 'OK'
5) After you are finished downloading a torrent, it is good to continue to share the file before stopping it for a period of time. Be careful if you have upload/ download limits with your ISP though. Some torrent sites will not let you download files from them if your file share ratio (upload to download) is not high enough. You will see the torrents you have downloaded in the bottom section of Azeurus. You can stop it by clicking the 'X' in the menus, or right clicking on the file
6) .MKV are High Definition video files, .AVI are regular quality. They both play in VLC Media Player in case you do not have a player already
*mac users: I think you would download here
For those of you thinking this is confusing: I bet this kid could do it, and she's only four and a half!
Let me know if you run into issues or have questions.
But can't think of anything to blog about, so I'll pass it on... And sorry for making you do math.
And for this post in general :)
This math test can predict your all time most watched film. Try it without looking at the answers. It works!
Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3, then multiply by 3 again.
You will get your answer by adding the two digits together to find your all time favourite movie.
Good Luck
See below....
It is:
1. Gone with the wind
2. Aliens
3. Oliver
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. Saving Private Ryan
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The joy of Anal Sex with male goats & leather clad boys
10. Mary Poppins
I guess whoever wrote this felt that in order to get the intended affect of this 'joke', the goats weren't enough, and they had to add the boys into the 'title' ... Not to mention making the goats male, and the boys clad in leather...
Maybe you should have gone with Kung Fu Porno!!! (Note: NSFW, but VERY funny!!!!)
* Twilight: New Moon opens this weekend!! Any of you guys as excited to see Ninja Assassin while your girlfriends see Twilight as I am?!
* Dollhouse was officially cancelled :( Wasn't my favorite show, but I know how upset you Whedon fans get when Fox cancels his shows and I thought I'd offer my condolences. R.I.P. Echo and your friends, Buffy, Angel and Captain Mal!
It's cancellation is not so surprising when you type in "Dollhouse best scenes" in Youtube, and this is what comes up:
* Is anyone watching Curb Your Enthusiasm this year? How damn funny was Sunday's episode?!?! -- "You've gotta recharge the Mitzvah"!! (Warning: may not be as funny if you didn't see the show!)
I watched The Men Who Stare at Goats last night, and let me spare you the time and money and warn you:
Don't Bother...
What a steaming pile of poo! The funniest part was the opening line and it was all down hill from there. Not even an amazing cast (Batman, The Dude, Lex Luthor, Obi-Wan Kenobi and the T-1000) could save this crappy and uneven script.
If you have already seen it, or plan to illegally download it, some questions and comments I have (warning: spoilers):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Ohhhhh my sides from all the Jedi jokes in front of Ewan McGregor...
Are people being tortured by playing the Barney song over and over considered "psychic" powers at work?
If the first time drugs are slipped to a soldier, he shoots people and then kills himself, do you really think it's wise to repeat the 'trick' on a larger scale? Ohhhhh, what shinanigans!
what is the relevance of killing a goat after staring at it for several minutes? Assasinations I assume, but if you are able to get within 3 feet and keep eye contact, it's probably easier to just pull a gun
When Clooney gets to the camp in Iraq, Kevin Spacey asks him how he found them. When he answers that he used his Psychic ability, Spacey says that he spoke with "Alex" and that he mentioned how he saw him and told him where they were. This makes me wonder:
Why did he ask if he already knew?
Is he trying to say that there are no such thing as these Psychic abilities that we spent the last 90 minutes watching?
The bigeest questions is: Why am I wasting my time trying to make sense of this?
You know those movies that most people are upset that they spent money to rent (even though they had Mono, their phone wasn't working, their cable was down, and the only book not damaged by the fire was Dianetics, and even that would have been better?!)...
And you own it on Blu-ray?
I own a lot of those, but here are 5 of my favorites:
Crank 2: High Voltage
I almost summarized the plot, but what would be the point. All you need to know is that they skydive without parachutes, there are women in bikini's firing automatic weapons, the Chinese Mafia, and a sexually assaulted Grandmother. And that's just the preview (and I promise they didn't show the best parts!) Stars Jason Strathem with guest appearances by David Carradine (Bill in Kill Bill), Corey Haim (Chris in Snowboard Academy) and Geri Halliwell (Phoebe in Sex and the City)
Very Bad Things
Watch this movie the first time and you'll say to yourself, "This is not funny and anyone who finds it so will be going to Hell". Watch it a second time and you will giggle (nervously) at times and look around o make sure no one notices. Watch it a third time and you will accept damnation and try talking other people into coming with you!
Canadian Bacon
A satire on America's need for war, US/ Canada relations and stereotypes. Directed by Michael Moore and staring John Candy in his last role. "There's a time to think, and a time to act, and this Gentlemen, is no time to think". Brilliant
The Adventure of Ford Fairlane
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"
Ahhhh, Andrew Dice Clay. Who didn't think he was funny when they were 16.... Or still do!
I think it's a guilty pleasure just to like this trailer:
Showgirls
This movie came out almost 15 years ago, yet people still remember it, refer to it, and play drinking games while watching it all over the world!
Watch it again just to have a laugh at what could possibly have made Elizabeth Berkley splash around in that pool like she did (you know what I'm talking about!)
The Fall, by Tarsem, is probably the most amazing movie I have ever seen.
If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it as soon as possible. If you have, you should own it on Blu-ray and watch it again.
To describe this film would not do it justice. Take the Princess Bride, mix them with the best National Geographic Photo's, and add in the cutest little kid you have ever seen, and you've got a start!
In short, the film is about a man in a hospital who befriends a young girl by telling her "An epic tale of love and revenge" in order to get her to steal pills for him. The story involves an Indian, an ex-slave, an Italian explosives expert, Charles Darwin (accompanied by a monkey sidekick), and a masked bandit who all go to seek revenge on the evil Governor. Have you stopped reading this and are watching it already?!
The story is simple enough, but that's not what makes it such a masterpiece. Shot in over 20 countries, and made without visual effects, you will watch this film with your mouth open, unable to believe the amazing locations and beauty of every shot. It makes you want to go travel to other countries, read about mystical places, take photo's and ultimately watch more movies from this director (although you are better off with his videos). How many films have you seen that make you feel like that?
And the kid! Watch this film and try to tell me that you don't want to just pinch her cheeks! The fact that she learnt English as they filmed the movie (She was discovered in Romania and has no other film experience), lost her front teeth just before filming, and actually believed that the main actor couldn't walk, just adds to the realism and sincerity of her role. If only they would put the effort into finding actress' like this instead of using that freaky child star, Dakota Fanning! Most importantly, we share a birthday!!!
The director of District 9 (Neill Blomkamp) was supposed to make a Live action Halo movie and came out with this short. Unfortunately, they won't be making it, but anyone talented enough to make that had me excited
It had been too long since there had been a good Sci-Fi Aliens on Earth film (Predator, Alien Nation), as apposed to horror (Every Alien-on-earth movie since).
The Aliens were ALL CGI... God damn they looked 'real' (as in the actors could touch them). That was some of the best CGI work I've ever seen
The Aliens name is "Christopher Johnson". I knew a guy from China with that same name. Love it
The Film Itself: The Ugly
I get it, the aliens represent black people in South Africa. And that during Apartheid they were segregated. And people are racist towards people who are different. And that part of the problem is the situation that was created by white people. I GET IT!!! But didn't we learn anything? Couldn't someone have said "Hey, this situation seems awfully familiar! Maybe we should try something else!"
Why must films hit us over the head that there will be a part 2?! Not since the ending of Back to the Future 2 has it been so blatant (I'm sure BTTF didn't affect you like it did me, but for those of you who care, at the end of the film, they actually played the beginning of BTTF 3 and then ended it with "To Be Continued..."). Okay, maybe it was worse at the end of the first Lord of the Rings... You get the point
Overall: All Good
I liked it! It's a good example of how a small film can start out as a hidden gem, get over-hyped (the killer of many movies), and end up showing us why we wanted to see it in the first place. Because a talented filmmaker had a good idea, surrounded himself with successful people and executed! I can't wait for District 10 ;)
Do you have any films that you want to know what I thought? Do you have a film that you liked and want some recommendations on others like it? Let me know so I have something to write about!
Modern Family - Best new sitcom in a long time. You will never be able to meet someone named Lilly without laughing again!
Curb Your Enthusiasm - 2 words: Seinfeld reunion.
The Office - Probably the most consistently funny show on TV
Wipeout - 2 more words: Big Balls (if you haven't seen it, that may sound weird!)
Survivors (?) - The Question mark because I'm not sure if this show has been renewed, but if it has, it's a(nother) British show about the survivors after a cataclysmic event that wiped out most of the world. Goes right where Jericho went wrong
Nurse Jackie - Oh HBO, can you do no wrong? From what I hear, it's so good, it's plots where all stolen for NBC's Mercy
Flight of the Concords - Hurry up and catch up on this show so that you too can laugh at epileptic dogs!
Lost - I wish I didn't know that it's all a dream. If you love this show, check out the 'trivia' section in these blogs to find out all of the things you missed. It will make you want to watch it again!
Peep Show - Probably the funniest British show on television. 6 seasons (rare for British shows), so lots to enjoy.
Little Britain (USA) - One of the few shows on this blog that you shouldn't watch more than one episode at a time as it can just be too much. Caution: will make you giggle next time you're in a change room at the gym which can get you into trouble
Inbetweeners - Cute highschool kids in Britain. Cross between Skins and Freaks and Geeks
Castle - If it wasn't for Nathon Fillion (he of Firefly and more importantly Dr. Horrible's Sing along Blog and PG Porn) I probably wouldn't watch it. Have you watched those links? Are you a Castle fan now?
Dexter - If only he had better taste in women.
Glee - I'm a little embarrassed by how much I like this!
V - Premiered last night and I thought it was perfect. They didn't overdo the conspiracy, just enough tongue in cheek, no actors that took away from it. I just hope they keep it up!
Completed Series
The Wire - If you haven't seen this yet, stop reading and go. Now. May be a little tough to get into, but I promise that after you watch a few episodes, you will agree that it is the Best. Show. Ever.
Freaks and Geeks - A little show that started a few careers... have you heard of James Franco? Jason Segal? No? What about Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan? Still No? Maybe this isn't for you! BTW, when you do watch it (which should be soon), keep an eye out for Shia Lebeouf...
Moving Wallpaper/ Echo Beach - Moving Wallpaper is a comedy about the making of a cheesy, Eastenders meets 90210 soap. Echo Beach is that show. When watched together, they are brilliant. Unfortunately Echo Beach only lasts one season.
East Bound and Down - Check out this Link and tell me you didn't laugh. Actually, instead of watching that link, just take my word for it and watch the show!
The IT Crowd - Watch the 1st season of the British version of this show if you have ever worked in or needed help from an IT Department. Skip the 2nd season if you want more, trust me!
That Mitchell and Webb Look - Watch Peep Show (See 'Current Series' below). Now that you're a fan, check out the sketch comedy show they made. If only Saturday Night Live were even close to this good
No Heroics - Another British Sitcom, this time about Super Heroes boozing during their off time. I wish there were more than 6 episodes! Trivia: almost remade in the US with Freddy Prinze Jr as the lead
Coupling - One of the few British Comedies that had multiple seasons which is nice. Great catch phrases, so don't watch alone or your friends will find you annoying when you keep repeating them and have to explain every joke!
Arrested Development - Best Comedy Ever. Holds up to repeat viewing if you only watched it once
I'm Looking Forward to:
Cast Offs - What a perfect way for Survivor to finish on, if only they had thought of it first!
The Box - You're given a box with a button on it, and told that if you press the button, two things will happen. First, someone will die and second, you will receive 1 million dollars. I'm sure a few presses wouldn't hurt! Despite being based on a short story and Twilight Zone episode (not to mention a few early attempts at making it into a movie), I'm sure it will be one of the most original films of the year. directed by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko). Watch the Trailer
The Men Who Stare at Goats - Based on a true story?! Try out the psychic tests on the official website. I'm not sure how, but I actually did knock over the goat... Also see Clooney in Up In the Air. Saw it at TIFF and it was fantastic.
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - If you don't know who Werner Herzog is, you are missing out. The man is a GENIUS. You should see as many of his movies as possible (Nosferatu, Grizzley Man), but what really drew me to his work is when he made a documentary called Little Dieter Needs to Fly about a pilot that ends up in a POW camp, then made a Hollywood film (staring BATMAN!) about that very subject called Rescue Dawn. People always wonder how much is true in movies that claim to be 'Based on Real Events', and here you know for sure
![Coupling](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0006HBLU0?ie=UTF8&tag=motvanotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0006HBLU0"><img border="0" src="51rPn7GTEtL._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=motvanotth-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0006HBLU0" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
![UP](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001KVZ6G6?ie=UTF8&tag=motvanotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001KVZ6G6"><img border="0" src="51V%2Beipy8-L._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=motvanotth-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001KVZ6G6" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
![Curb Your Enthusiasm](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OOWKSA?ie=UTF8&tag=motvanotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OOWKSA"><img border="0" src="51wf4wTL8gL._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=motvanotth-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002OOWKSA" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
![here](http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0596154488?ie=UTF8&tag=motvnotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=15121&creative=390961&creativeASIN=0596154488"><img border="0" src="41NRHWpMOdL._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.ca/e/ir?t=motvnotth-20&l=as2&o=15&a=0596154488" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
![Dianetics](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/140314446X?ie=UTF8&tag=motvanotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=140314446X"><img border="0" src="51U3e3Xow4L._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=motvanotth-20&l=as2&o=1&a=140314446X" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
![Blu-ray](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001BPJJ82?ie=UTF8&tag=motvanotth-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001BPJJ82"><img border="0" src="5111UlUhq0L._SL160_.jpg"></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=motvanotth-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001BPJJ82" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;){kind=link}
